If your resolution is to be happier, you probably shouldn’t count on winning the lottery (we’ve seen the research that says lottery winners aren’t statistically happier, but considering the cost of groceries…). So, what options are you left with?
The good news is experts agree that boosting happiness is often simpler than it sounds. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. With an open mind and a little effort, these tips will help you have a happier year ahead.
Rewrite the narrative
Jennifer Murdock-Bishop researches career transitions as a psychology professor at the University of Northern Colorado. She believes our lives are a series of transitions as well.
People often don’t have accurate narratives about their lives and experiences, she says, yet the story they tell themselves becomes the story they believe. That can be a problem when a negative narrative starts to override the good things that are happening for them.
“It’s the difference between repeating to myself that my life is falling apart and looking for examples that confirm or support that and hitting the brakes to say, ‘I had a bad day,’ or ‘I experienced a rough situation,’” she says.
When she works with people to rewrite their narratives, she likes to think about what theme song they can adopt. For example, she loves “Brass in Pocket” by The Pretenders and the idea that she has some secret way to figure out her next move when she faces a challenge.
Sometimes we need a little help to rework the story. One method Murdock-Bishop keeps in her toolbox is what she calls a “smile file.” She had a great boss two decades ago—a wise woman named Nancy with spiky gray hair—who made her start one.
“It’s been a great way to keep track of really good things that have happened: tokens, mementos, artifacts,” she says. “There’s some research that supports having the ability to touch back on something positive can improve your psychological well-being, especially in difficult times.”
Maybe that looks like carrying a picture of yourself as a child to remind you to rewrite the narrative for your younger self, she says. That can help you think about the things you hoped to accomplish and how you’ve achieved some of them.
June Gruber, professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado Boulder, recommends keeping a gratitude journal for that same reason. She even assigns one to her students.
Murdock-Bishop adds that keeping a journal doesn’t necessarily mean you have to whip out a leather-bound notebook. It can be as simple as typing into the notes app on your phone or recording a voice memo. Keeping notes about the things that make you feel good—even if they’re small—can boost your mood, she says.
Get connected
Experts agree that connection with others is important to our happiness, yet many people struggle with feeling lonely. According to a recent U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory report, nearly half of U.S. adults report feeling lonely or isolated. In the report, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy went so far as to call it the “loneliness epidemic.”
“The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity,” Murthy wrote. “And the harmful consequences of a society that lacks social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces and civic organizations, where performance, productivity and engagement are diminished.”
Loneliness has such a profound impact on our health that the Weld County Department of Public Health and Environment launched an initiative in 2024, called Acts of Connection, that aims to combat social isolation.
Social connection—or the lack of it—can be a bit of a chicken or the egg scenario, Murdock-Bishop says. If we don’t feel good, we often don’t want to go out and spend time with friends. But the lack of connection makes us feel worse.
It’s easy to get caught up doomscrolling instead of saying hello to someone, she says, but being more open to the world and choosing to engage in it has shown to have a positive impact.
“It doesn’t even have to be this deep connection with one bestie,” she says. “Saying hello to someone in a coffee shop, even a stranger, can contribute to our overall well-being.”
If you find yourself in a funk and don’t know how to get out of it, Acts of Connection suggests taking these small steps:
Reach out to friends, family or colleagues you haven’t talked to in a while and start a conversation.
Schedule time each day to connect with others in person, by phone or online. Start calling old friends or family members every week.
Practice self-care and focus on enjoyable activities.
Use positive self-talk acknowledging personal successes and good qualities.
Find a community or support group online, or use social media to connect with like-minded people.
If you notice a loved one seems lonely, isolated or disconnected, consider how you might be able to help. Acts of Connection recommends these approaches:
Ask the person how they’re feeling and if they think they may be lonely.
Stay in touch through visits, calls or messages.
Suggest activities to do together.
Honor commitments you’ve made. If you said you’d call or visit, follow through.
Suggest they contact a healthcare professional (a physician or counselor) if they continue to struggle with their mental health.
Have a passion
People who report being the happiest have a passion for something, Murdock-Bishop says. Ideally, that passion matches your identity and interests and adds something positive to your life.
Many people split their time between personal relationships, work and/or school and a main hobby or passion, she says. If you’re feeling down about life, she recommends asking yourself how you’re spending your time.
“How can you make even one small change, throw one toe out of the hamster wheel and start to look at something a little differently?” she asks.
With that, it’s important to remember that happiness isn’t a destination. You can’t arrive there, and no one thing will keep you there.
According to CU and Gruber, evidence increasingly suggests pursuing happiness can actually make you more likely to miss out. So, what is the point of all this?
Rewriting the narrative, connecting with others and having a passion are all practices that help us slow down and experience happiness rather than simply pursuing it. Gruber likes to show her classes a relevant quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others,” he says.
