Name: Denise Apodaca
City of residence: Fort Collins
Occupation: Master instructor at Colorado State University’s School of Music
What do you love most about working at CSU?
I’m a pianist by trade, and I was asked to orchestrate and organize the piano proficiency program here at Colorado State. After that was done, they said, “Do you want to teach MU 100, music appreciation?” and I said, “Yeah, that would be great.” They said, “The only caveat is that it’s 250 students,” and I said, “No way. I cannot stand in front of 250 students and speak intelligently” because I tend to go back to my roots when I’m in that kind of situation. And secondly, being the teacher that I want to be and reaching every student and making the student feel like they matter I felt was literally impossible with a ratio of 250 to one. But, as life has it, my father had just passed away, I was going through a divorce and I needed work, so I took the job. This class specifically—MU 100, music appreciation—has been the biggest growth experience for me, as a person, to work outside my box but also to know that I can connect with 250 students.
There is the ability to have every student in that forum feel like they are heard and seen. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of time. There’s a lot of reflections, a lot of tea time, a lot of office hours, but when I am standing in front of that class and they are all singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” in unison to discover the importance of a melody or the importance of childhood memory, and they’re all singing it and laughing and smiling, it’s adrenaline like no other. Being a classically trained pianist, I’ve performed my entire life, and that has its own rush, its own adrenaline. But this far surpasses that, and I think it’s because I’m interacting with 250 students.
These students are incredible human beings, and I love them. I know about them. I know about their lives. They welcome me into their life, and I welcome them into my life. I think the most important thing is that I don’t try to be anything I’m not. I’ve learned that in this forum. These students don’t care about my degrees, my awards or my medals; they just want the real me. They want to know that what I teach is applicable to their everyday life. That’s what I love the most.
What do you love most about living in Northern Colorado?
It’s interesting that you ask that because I received a fellowship three years ago to finish my doctorate at Columbia University, so I moved to New York City and lived there for three years. I just moved back to NOCO in August. I’ve been here just afresh of one semester. I think living in New York—as [much as] it is beautiful and culturally enriching, there’s music literally at your disposal, any kind of food, millions of people—there’s something that, when I’m here, I just feel grounded. I think of peace and tranquility. It could just be my personality. It could be that I’m somewhat of an introvert or need that solitary space to reboot after teaching 250 students, and to reboot in New York City is a different reboot than NOCO and Fort Collins.
I love the nature. I love the people. I love that wherever I go, I see someone I know, like a student that I’ve had, and that they come up to me and talk about the class. That people are willing to help each other, and not just in a moment of crisis but in everyday life. I don’t know if you believe in auras or energies, but I believe that towns also have that. I think that Fort Collins has that aura of peace for me, which I so needed after living in New York for three years.
Is there a fun fact about yourself you’d like to share that people might not know?
I think people are stories in themselves. All my students definitely know who I am and where I came from. I was born in south central Los Angeles in Compton, Calif., and experienced a lot of trauma, and music was the thing that saved me from that. I’ve had to work on myself and self-reflect from that point of view. The two senses I think we connect the most with are scents and sound, so when I hear piano music, it often brings me back into that realm of childhood trauma. I’ve had to work to try to not associate piano with that. It’s been a life discovery, and I’m still in the process of doing that. That’s something that’s constant work for me.
I’m first-generation Mexican Irish, so my first language was Spanish, and my father was from Mexico. I spent half my life in Mexico growing up there. I’m also a midwife by trade in home birthing, which has been incredible. The miracle of life, women’s health and mental health are extremely important to me, as are children.
If you were showing someone around Northern Colorado for a weekend, what are some experiences you’d share with them?
Nature, definitely. I think just a drive through the Poudre Canyon or Horsetooth. But also mi casa for good Mexican food because that’s one of the things we always pride ourselves on in our culture: to invite loved ones into our home. That’s a gift. And to cook for them so they’re comfortable immediately in this city and they feel somewhat that they have a home base. From that, it’s all the beautiful spots that Fort Collins has to offer, like Old Town. Walking there, taking the little trolley into Old Town and walking along some of the most beautiful nature paths, which I do almost every day. That’s something I really believe in: my nature therapy time. If I don’t get it, I feel it, so I would just bring them along. Some of the food places…. The coffee places that we have are just adorable and super friendly, super welcoming. The breweries…. There’s just so much. It would just be a weekend of eating and drinking.
Is there a specific way that you’re planning on showing your loved ones that you care about them this Valentine’s Day?
Anyone who knows me knows that I love hard. I love very hard the people I love within my village, and that includes the thousands of students I’ve incorporated within la familia structure. That’s how I teach my classes. I hope I do that on a daily basis. My three daughters say, “Mom, you’re aggressively affectionate and generous,” so I’m thinking, “Is that a good thing? Is that not a good thing?” I think I would just continue to do that on Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those things where it’s a commercialized, capitalistic type of holiday, but at the same time, I more than anyone love love. So if there’s a day dedicated to that, I will contact all the people I love and just tell them, “I love you. You are special. You matter. My life is different and better because you’re in it.”
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Why Students Love Professor Apodaca
As a bonus, one of Denise’s students joined us to share what she loves about her. Here’s what Mikayla Carter, a CSU freshman, had to say:
This fall semester, I had music appreciation with Denise, and I really appreciate her ability to connect with 250 students, which I think is really hard to do. But she does a really amazing job at it. We’ve had coffee together, and we’ve formed a relationship. She’s like a friend more than a professor. I’ve learned so much from her about life and music. She’s an amazing soul.
