Mia Romanelli was asked with a special box that had pink pajamas, an engraved tumbler, a scrunchie and a BFF bracelet.
Drew Larsen was asked with a custom ammo cannister and “goodies” inside.
These weren’t marriage proposals, but they were close: They were invitations to be the Maid of Honor and Best Man at a loved one’s wedding. Elaborate wedding party invites are just one of the ways things are changing for soon-to-be brides and grooms and those they ask to stand up with them.
Traditional duties have included planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party for the Maid of Honor and the bachelor party for the Best Man. However, a lot about the roles of each member of the bridal party are changing and completely up to the needs of the bride and groom.
“Now, it’s a whole production,” says Casey Muller of Pink Diamond Events, who has planned weddings and other events since 2009. “There is a lot more put into [the responsibility] these days. Sometimes the Maid of Honor will help the bride invite the other bridesmaids.”
Mia Romanelli carrying bride, Aly Hauptman’s, train. Photo by Sarah Porter Photography.
And, yes, both Romanelli and Larsen agreed to their proposals. Romanelli was the Maid of Honor for her best friend Aly Hauptman (although she was Lagestee at the time). Larsen and his brother, Derek, were Best Men for their brother Dane Larsen.
Romanelli said the invite sent her into research mode. “I have never been a Maid of Honor before. Honestly, I don’t think I had any idea what it actually entailed until she asked me, and I realized I should make sure I try to pull off being the best MOH I can,” she says.
“So, I did some research and found some articles to read up on how to be a boss-ass MOH, watched TikToks, and asked friends who have stood up as a MOH about what I should do that they learned was helpful,” she says.
When Sarah Quintana, owner of Babe Social Planning, got married, her Maid of Honor didn’t have many planning duties since that is what Quintana does. “I think more brides are taking over more now,” she says. “Grooms have never been that participatory anyway. They show up and have a good time. My husband had one requirement: He wanted a drink or, since we are in Colorado, some weed, whenever he needed it, so that was also part of the Best Man duties.”
Another part of the changing bridal party is a fluidity in who can be in which role. The best man at Quintana’s wedding was actually a woman, Onnika Hanson. The groom “had someone else lined up as Best Man, but when he wasn’t able to make it, he asked if I would be willing to step in as Best Man since he wasn’t as close to the other groomsmen,” she says. “I used the title as Best Man simply because it was easier, but some people called me ‘Best Woman.’
“Honestly, it was not much different than when I was the Maid of Honor at another friend’s wedding, just instead of wearing a dress, I wore dress pants, a button down and a tie.”
Hanson adds that roles are definitely not gender-specific these days. “All that matters is that you are standing up next to your friend during one of the most important days of their life. If you want to wear a dress on the men’s side or a suit on the women’s side, just wear something that blends in with the others color and style wise so that you aren’t the one standing out and everyone isn’t looking at you.”
Romanelli has similar advice from her side of the aisle. “Most importantly, love your bestie bride and make her feel special. You are the Maid of Honor for a reason, and it should be a happy experience for you both. Take deep breaths, enjoy the process and be proud of the help you gave.”
The Traditional Bridal Party
Sarah Quintana, owner of Babe Social Planning, shares with us the origins of the Best Man and Maid of Honor.
Best Man traditions
The best man used to be more of a guard of the bride in weddings. He originally stood on the bride’s side of the altar with a sword to prevent any other possible suitors from trying to take her and (problematically) to stop the bride from running away. He also would stand guard of the couple’s bedroom after the wedding.
Maid of Honor traditions
Typically viewed as the most moral role model to the bride, and depending on the country and time period, was either required to be married only once and with a living husband or required to be an unmarried virgin who was younger than the bride.
Bridal Party traditions
The bridal party used to be a minimum of 10 people (five on the bride’s side and five on the groom’s) with everyone in the bridal party dressing the same as the couple (bridesmaids also wearing white wedding dresses) in order to confuse evil spirits that might try to prevent the wedding.
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Jared Fiel is a writer in Northern Colorado.
